I’ve hit that point.

So yeah today I think I’ve hit that point where I’ve realised yet again, that nothing is ever going to change. (or atleast it seems that way) I’ve been at college over a month now and don’t have any “friends”. Several “internet friends” told me that I should forget about school, because I’ll make loads of new friends at college. Doesn’t seem like that. Things are just shit. I’m working on assignments trying to do well, because I want to do well. Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I’m lucky I don’t have friends and I’m not going out, because at least then I have more time to spend on college work. But then there’s days like today when I feel shit, and just wish that someone would call me or text (a girl). The only people that are even slightly interersted in me at college are guys. And to be honest I’m not that interested in them, even though there are a few nice looking guys.. I just can’t be fucked.

I’m thinking to myself is this how its going to be for rest of my life? Its hard. And its these quiet moments that it really hurts..I was telling G earlier how I’m hoping to do some volunteering on Sunday, and she said to me “You’re going by yourself? This is the sort of thing you should do with a friend..”, I replied “I don’t know anyone that would want to go.” Obviously deep down I know the truth is that in fact I don’t know anyone at all. And I don’t think the guys that chat me up and have my number would be interested in volunteering with me at 9am on  a Sunday. But why should I let the fact that I have no friends stop me from going? It’s for Orange Rock Corps, volunteer 4 hours and then get a ticket to a gig of your choice. Even when I told M that I was doing it, she said that I should go with a friend. With a friend.. Somone to share the experience with. Is it sad to go to a Rihanna concert by yourself then? I guess so..

Abandoned for a month.

Oh wow, so it looks like it’s been just under a month since I last posted. I do apologise, lol. Ahh just the past few weeks I didn’t feel as if I had anything worth typing, I just couldn’t be bothered basically. But today I’m back, and writing on my new Sony Vaio which arrived yesterday from Amazon. Ooo. I’d saved £300 up to last week, and then my Mum said that she would pay the rest, which was nice of her. I also ordered Kaspersky Anti Virus 2012, so that should hopefully keep me protected.

What have I been up to for the past month? Pfft, nothing at all to be honest,  I was at my grans for a few weeks and she had some french students staying, so I hung out with them a little bit. I actually went bowling with them, and showed them around the town which was nice I guess. But yeah other than that, I’ve just been at home really and baby sitting for my Mum’s friend. Yesterday I bought two white tops from H&M for work at the deli/cafe, I start next Monday. This week is really my last week of rest and holiday, because from next Monday I’ll be working at the deli (Monday to Friday), right up until the end of August, and then I start college on Thursday 1st September. So my next break won’t be until the October half term. Hmm.

But it’s all good, I chose to work at the deli and it’ll be good money for me. Also now that I’ve got my laptop, I can save for other things, my next item is a leather swivel chair from IKEA. £54.99, but it’s nice and needed (back posture) lol. Then I’d like to get some of those BEATS by Dr.Dre headphones, looking at about £150 for those, but it’ll be worth it. Couple other things which would be nice, would be a television for my room and a Playstation 3 aha. I think it’s possible for me to get all that, I mean all together that’s about £605, because I could be potentially getting like £181 a week (Deli job, Hairdressers + Baby sitting).

Today just going to be at home taking it easy I guess, and might pop over to my grans later..

Carrot Cake Recipe

So today I decided to make a carrot cake. I got the original recipe from The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook, but the ingredients in the recipe below are slightly tweaked because I didn’t have all the ingredients. Tastes pretty good.

Carrot Cake

Ingredients
250g Self Raising Flour
250g Caster Sugar
1tsp Baking Power
100ml Olive Oil
100g butter
200g carrots (grated)
3 eggs
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Vanilla extract
300g icing sugar, sifted
50g unsalted butter (at room temperature
125g cream cheese, cold

Method

1.Preheat the oven to 170C (325F) Gas 3

2. Mix sugar, eggs, oil and butter together.

3.Slowly add the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and vanilla extract, and continue to mix/beat until well mixed.

4.Stir in the grated carrots.

5. Pour the mixture into 2 tins, and smooth over. Bake in preheated oven for 20-25minutes, or until golden brown.

6. While cakes are in the oven, mix the icing sugar, cream cheese and 50g butter together.

7. Take cakes out of oven and leave to cool. When the cakes are cold spread a layer of the frosting on one cake, then put the other cake on top and spread another layer.

Enjoy!

*Note. My frosting didn’t turn out right for some reason, in the picture in the recipe book it looks all creamy like frosting, lol. But something happened with mine, and it went a bit runny. Still tastes good though.

Week 2 Summer Holidays + Loneliness

So last week was the first week of the holidays and it was mainly about work, I was trying to find summer work and sort out what I’m meant to be doing. I managed to get a job at a cafe/delicatessen, where I’ll be working there between end of July-September. I also got a job as a leafleter, just handing out leaflets. I started that yesterday, I suppose it was okay, 20% of people took the leaflets, 70% said no thanks and about 10% were just plain rude. Then it started to rain so I finished 30 minutes earlier, erm the lady said she’ll phone me and then I’ll probably hand out some more later this week or something.

Plans for this week though (being week 2 of the summer holidays) nothing at all. I’ll probably pop over to my grans later in the week, but that’s about it. Guess I’ll just be at home using the computer, watching tv and lazing around I suppose. I guess it would be nice if I could go out for a coffee/Starbucks with someone, or maybe catch a film (few new films that look alright coming out this week). But that isn’t going to happen is it. After the leafleting yesterday I went to McDonald’s, and bought myself a McChicken Sandwich meal (my favourite). I actually decided to eat in McDonald’s, as I was too tired and hungry to walk back home and then eat. The meal was nice, I suppose it filled a gap in my stomach, but there was something missing. As I sat at the table eating I noticed a chair in front of me, which was empty. Empty. Empty. I guess for a little bit of time I wished someone was there eating with me, talking to me.

I suppose I’ve realised this is how things are going to be this Summer, it’s not going to be fun and exciting, it’s going to be pretty down and boring. Obviously between July and September I’ll be working in that Cafe/Delicatessen Monday – Friday, 10am till 3pm, then of course Saturday’s I work in the hairdressers. It’s just going to be work, work, work, which in a way is good I guess because it gives me something to do, keeps me busy and of course I  get some money. But in particular in those 6 week I’m working (July-September), that’s all I will be doing. I’ll go to work, finish and then come home, use the computer/watch tv, go to sleep. And then repeat, repeat, repeat. No little meet ups with anyone, no going out, no fun. And then I would have started College which means more work, and just a bit of hope that I’ll meet some nice people and develop some good relationships..

 

Trial run at the delicatessen went well.

I would have updated yesterday, but I was so tired last night. My trial run at the café/delicatessen  went well, seeing as they offered me the job at the end of the day. I arrived at the café at around 9,30 (half an hour early), I was rather surprised to be honest at how busy it was (mainly mums and babies), and there was just one girl on her own working. I introduced myself to her, and she told me to come out back. I could see she was busy so I asked her if she needed any help, she gave me some gloves and a pinny (apron), and asked me to make 2 baguettes, one prawn and one tuna. The first baguette I forgot to put butter on, lol, but she reminded me and it was fine, the second one was all right as well.

After that the deli/café actually got a bit quieter and all the mums left, so I just cleared away some of the tables and wiped them down. Just after 10 the lady that I originally spoke to about the job, arrived and we said hello, and I continued with what I was doing. Most of the day was spent just washing up, and loading the dishwasher. But at the end of the day when she offered me the job, and said how delighted she was with me, she said that when I start I’ll be mainly out front. (making baguettes, panini’s, jacket potatoes, sandwiches, coffees etc. Also the great thing is that she said the pay would be around £5.50/£6.00 an hour. Fantastic for me! 25 hours a week * £5.50 = £137.50. I’ll be covering her between end of July and September, so about 6 weeks.  It’s all good.

But right now I’m shattered, today I went to work at the hairdressers as usual and then afterwards I popped into town and bought myself a smart white shirt, for tomorrow. I’m handing out those leaflets tomorrow for a laser clinic, ahaah, so I need to look smart. I also ordered Death Note Volume 3 on Amazon, so I should get that by Monday.

Got my little leaflet job. :)

Yeah so today I went to meet the lady that called me yesterday about the leaflet job, and seems like I’ve got it. I’ll be simply just handing out leaflets in town, promoting the business. On Sunday I’ll go there and pick up the leaflets, and then start handing them out. Simple. And that’s £22.50 for 3 hours.

Tomorrow morning I’m going to a café to have a trial run, and if I’m good I’ll get the job.

Plans for the rest of the day: relax, watch tv/anime, use the internet.

Every little helps.

Right so a couple of weeks ago I put an ad on this site saying that I was looking for work over the summer, and if anyone had anything then they should call me. Today I got that call, they need someone to hand out leaflets over the next 2 weeks, promoting their bussiness. I’m up for that, and she’s offering £7.50 an hour! So tomorrow I’m going down to the office to see her, and check things over and hopefully I’ll get it. The hours are okay I guess, Sunday 11-2 so that’s £22.50 for the day, and if possible Monday, Wednesday and Friday 6-8pm. That’s potentially £67.50 for the week! Add that to my £30 from the Saturday job and that’s £97.50! Woo hoo! So yeah, I’m pretty excited.

On Friday morning I’m actually going down to this Cafe to have a trial run, the lady I spoke to that’s works there needs someone to cover her for a few weeks over the summer. The hours would be Monday-Friday 10-3, which isn’t too bad and again its money, which is what I need. I’m not too sure how much she’s offering to pay, but even if its minimum wage that would be like £91 for the week! Add that to my Saturday job and that’s £121!

So tomorrow/Thursday I’m going to the office to check things over about the leaflet job, and Friday have my trial run for the cafe job. The leaflet job she said that it would only be for the next couple weeks, because they’ve got a special offer running. But still if I do the full-time that would be like £135 for the 2 weeks. All good.

Also my Mum said her friend would like me to baby sit sometimes, and she’s offering to pay like £6 an hour for like 3/4 hours. At first I wasn’t too sure, but I’m alright with aha its money yet again which is what I need! And every little helps.

And then last of all there’s the research work I’m doing for my Aunt, she offering to pay a good amount for the research I’m doing, so that’s pretty cool too. Of course there’s my lovely old Saturday job at the hairdressers, this August will be 2 years. Shows I can be dedicated and committed lol. But yeah right there that’s 5 jobs, but I guess I gotta take each day as it comes. But my ultimate target for this summer is to save enough money so I can buy myself a new laptop for college.